Sunday, February 28, 2010

Plumbers and Particle Physics

Howdy Comrades!

I am ending the month by reporting a strange anomaly with my personal shower.  For the past year, I've had two different plumbers on four occasions called to repair the shower from suddenly stopping dead while I am in the midst of my morning ablutions.  Each time, I'm told the problem is fixed and given a rather large bill.  My shower will work without any problem for about two months; then having applied shampoo and lathered with soap, I hear a sudden bang, and the shower stops dead.  No amount of cussing or percussive maintenance will restore the flow of water for me to complete rinsing and scrubbing.  How can this be?

Comrades!  I have two possible theories.  The first hypothesis is that my shower is possessed by the devil. Thus far, I haven't convinced any priest to attempt an exorcism.  Father Joe suggested I call a Roman Catholic plumber or consult a psychiatrist.  His suggestions were not at all productive because I need immediate relief.  I loathe taking tub baths on the theory that I'm bathing in my own dirty water.

Seeking a more scientific explanation, I discovered that scientist have recently discovered that neutrinos produced by the sun and those traveling through Earth from cosmic rays are fundamentally different.  Needless to say, this finding has dismayed many particle physicists.  Perhaps, we can explain the finding by postulating oscillating neutrinos.  We know there exists at least three types of neutrinos, muon, tau and electron neutrinos.  Because neutrinos seem to oscilate, we may resolve why there is a preponderance of matter rather than antimatter present in the observable universe.  As to my shower, what if muon neutrinos from a cosmic ray travels through the earth and collides with a tau neutrino from the sun within the pipe of my shower?  Perhaps, the result would be a series of oscillating neutrinos transforming into electron neutrinos, engendering production of a strange or charmed quark of antimatter?  I am convinced that the water in the shower pipe would react explosively to the anti quark, decisively stopping the shower.  Of course, the anti matter would be destroyed, leaving no evidence to help the plumber to diagnose the real problem

If the peeps detect a whiff of body odor when I lead the next BPP meeting, please bear with me.  I am determined to get to the crux of this anomaly as soon as possible.  In the meantime, I am relying on sponge baths and copious amounts of cologne.


Chairman Mal

Power to the Peeps!