Wednesday, March 21, 2007

"She Blinded Me With Science!"

. . . Or Google Just Sucks!
Howdy Comrades!
Before I begin this tirade, I’d like to thank the many readers of Chairman Mal’s Little Red Book who have contacted me to express their concern that I’ve failed to update this blog for exactly a month. Well, to be honest, not a single reader has asked about my health, but I have received angry emails complaining that I am woefully behind in reporting the latest scandals at Cap Metro. Hardball also chastised me that Chen Guangcheng languishes in a Chinese jail while I gripe about my problems with New Blogger and “piddle with myself” during Spring break. I have no idea what he/ she means by piddle, but it’s true that New Blogger has given me fits, and I took a two week working vacation from blogging to preserve my sanity, such as it is.
In my own defense, Comrades, I had no intention to convert to New Blogger. I avoided all the prompts and teases Google proffered to inveigle me into converting. My long suffering technology trainer advised against it, and it had not escaped my attention that Chris Hofstadter of Blind Confidential stayed with the old Blogger. What happened is still a mystery to me. Shortly after publishing “Ask the oracle,” I received a large number of spam comments. One spam comment simply appeared on my blog, and I was forced to perform an administrator deletion. I didn’t receive the customary message to accept or reject the comment from Blogger. Next, I received some legitimate comments, and I hit the publish link on the first one I wished to publish. This time the publish link in the message from Blogger was different. I could no longer use my old Blogger password and user name, or so it seemed when I read the information on the link. Instead, to accept the new comment, the text indicated that I would need to sign in with my Google account information. Reluctantly, I complied, only to hear the dreaded information “we are now changing your blogs to New Blogger.” Comrades! I confess that I took a moment to curse God, for which I’ve apologized. Then I desperately tried to alt F four myself out of trouble. Too late, Old Blogger for The little Red Book was history and my forced conversion to New Blogger was unstoppable.
Panicked, I contacted my beleaguered tech trainer with a desperate cry for help. His first reaction was to let out an enormous groan. This reaction alarmed me even more. Ken was able to use Magic to publish my next exposé of the criminal behavior at Cap Metro, after I assured him that Blogger for Word no longer worked. During our next training session, he noticed that there was now a Google Blogger for Word, and I was greatly relieved, assuming Google, being a socially progressive post capitalist company, had updated the software so many blind bloggers had come to rely upon. Oh Contraire, Comrades! We continued to get the same log in error with the Google Blogger for Word. Later, after much cursing of Google and computers in general, we discovered an announcement that Google was “considering” whether or not to upgrade Blogger for Word to make it compatible with New Blogger, but the Google Team had not yet determined if it would be worth the trouble. That’s how Google blinded me with science, to borrow the title of a wonderful ditty by Thomas Dolby from the 1980’s. As one of the verses goes, one could “smell the chemicals” at the World Headquarters of the Blind Panther Party. They smelled like rage.
In the next installment, I will describe the rather lame fix I must now substitute for my erstwhile friend, Blogger for Word.
(To be continued)
Chairman Mal
Power to the Peeps!

"She Blinded Me With Science"