Glands

Howdy Comrades!

I've considered adopting the Nome de Guer of Comrade Jobe in consideration of all my bodily travails.  Recently, I've spent a small fortune with my dentist, repairing three teeth worn down from Bruxism.  The explosion of actinic light in my central visual field has only intensified lately.  My physician's hypothesis involves the shorter days and the effect of the dimming daylight on my pineal gland.  Whatever the cause, it's drastically effected my sleep cycle.  Sometimes I sleep for two hours; then I wake up for eight hours.  After that, my ass is dragging, and I am compelled to nap for another three hours or so.  To say the least, my employer is less than sympathetic, and my side business has virtually ground to a halt because of the worldwide liquidity crisis and shortage of gold, silver and platinum bullion.  I muddle through somehow, although I'm sometimes manic or indolent by turns.  That could be the fault of yet another gland, my thyroid.  I'm due for an ultrasound of that pesky miscreant because of a suspicious growth on the bottom right side of the damned thing.  Moreover, my urologist has found problems with yet another gland, but I decline to reveal his findings.  I am attempting to negotiate an appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show to disclose that information, hoping that I may lead a national foundation dedicated to its cure or amelioration!  Other matters continue apace with the evil doers at Cap Metro.  I will spare readers those details for now.

I wish LRB readers happy Honokaa, Merry Christmas, Quanza, etc.

Regards,

Chairman Mal

Power to the Peeps!

PS:  Blind Salamander and Drew L Spitz will be filling in for me for the remainder of 2008.